Thursday, June 26, 2008
Monday, June 09, 2008
Jeremiah 29:11 (The Message)
I'll show up and take care of you as I promised
and bring you back home.
I know what I'm doing.
I have it all planned out -
plans to take care of you,
not abandon you,
plans to give you the future you hope for.
As some of you know, this has been by far one of the worst years in my life. It started on New Years Eve actually, like a big fat hint of things to come. One thing after another, to something worse, to even worse , then to the grand finale of them all, only then to find out something just as bad. Every month has held its own little tragedy, sometimes two with no resolutions in site. I know some things are going to take years to recover from, some things may not be recovered from at all. Life is not ever going to be the same for any of us. But that doesnt mean that it wont be better. Much better.
I just want you to know that I could not have made it without Jesus Christ walking right beside me, holding me up, keeping me from going over the edge. Even when I didnt realize it. Even when He was the farthest thing from my mind, He was holding on to me. When I wanted to pack it in and run away from all that was happening he had his arms around me holding me up, pushing me along, making me take care of business.
I will never understand why God lets things happen to people but I do believe he does things for a reason we will eventually get to understand. Sometimes He makes things happen to keep other worse things from happening. And sometimes He does things so we will be forced to do other things. I look forward to some of His explanations :)
I now know and believe things without seeing them with my own eyes, by just faith and that is the first time for me. I am going to be baptized soon. I held off for some time because I dont have a good story to tell about my new belief and life. At my church they play a video of your "story" before you go under the water. I didn't have religious parents or friends who encouraged any type of religion. I didnt have anyone really make me "see the light" so to speak. I only had myself and God. I had to work through my doubts and fears pretty much on my own. I had to learn to believe things I couldnt see. My breakthrough came when I learned of a verse somewhere that said "if you want to believe, God will make it so you can believe" I am extremely hard headed but I KNEW I wanted to believe. I just dont trust people that much. I could not understand how my life after death would be affected by some guy who got himself killed and hung on a cross 2000 plus years ago. When I realized that I dont have to understand it to know its true the walls came crumbling down for me. I convinced myself to have faith in that verse. I prayed and told God it was now up to Him to make me believe and so He did. I really cant explain it but if Jesus came back tomorrow I know I would be gone with him. I now think of eternity in a totally different light. I deserve some good eternity! I look forward to it! I have always found a reason to be happy despite my circumstances and now I am even happier. This life is nothing compared to eternity in heaven. I am not sure what it really will hold but I bet I get that big house on the beach....
My biggest fear and worry right now is that I dont want to go to heaven without my kids and my husband and my grand kids. I must learn and develop into a good role model. My kids are very hard headed like me. But seeing good things happen in my life and hearing my stories of faith and knowledge that it all comes from God will have its effect. I fear life on earth after Jesus comes back and takes the believers with him. But I have faith that he will give me the words and the reasoning to deal with my kids. And my family and friends. God answers all prayers. He can't not answer my prayer that my family and friends be in heaven with me.
God please give me the right words to move those who listen to me in the right direction.
Jeremiah 29:11 (The Message)
I'll show up and take care of you as I promised
and bring you back home.
I know what I'm doing.
I have it all planned out -
plans to take care of you,
not abandon you,
plans to give you the future you hope for.
I'll show up and take care of you as I promised
and bring you back home.
I know what I'm doing.
I have it all planned out -
plans to take care of you,
not abandon you,
plans to give you the future you hope for.
As some of you know, this has been by far one of the worst years in my life. It started on New Years Eve actually, like a big fat hint of things to come. One thing after another, to something worse, to even worse , then to the grand finale of them all, only then to find out something just as bad. Every month has held its own little tragedy, sometimes two with no resolutions in site. I know some things are going to take years to recover from, some things may not be recovered from at all. Life is not ever going to be the same for any of us. But that doesnt mean that it wont be better. Much better.
I just want you to know that I could not have made it without Jesus Christ walking right beside me, holding me up, keeping me from going over the edge. Even when I didnt realize it. Even when He was the farthest thing from my mind, He was holding on to me. When I wanted to pack it in and run away from all that was happening he had his arms around me holding me up, pushing me along, making me take care of business.
I will never understand why God lets things happen to people but I do believe he does things for a reason we will eventually get to understand. Sometimes He makes things happen to keep other worse things from happening. And sometimes He does things so we will be forced to do other things. I look forward to some of His explanations :)
I now know and believe things without seeing them with my own eyes, by just faith and that is the first time for me. I am going to be baptized soon. I held off for some time because I dont have a good story to tell about my new belief and life. At my church they play a video of your "story" before you go under the water. I didn't have religious parents or friends who encouraged any type of religion. I didnt have anyone really make me "see the light" so to speak. I only had myself and God. I had to work through my doubts and fears pretty much on my own. I had to learn to believe things I couldnt see. My breakthrough came when I learned of a verse somewhere that said "if you want to believe, God will make it so you can believe" I am extremely hard headed but I KNEW I wanted to believe. I just dont trust people that much. I could not understand how my life after death would be affected by some guy who got himself killed and hung on a cross 2000 plus years ago. When I realized that I dont have to understand it to know its true the walls came crumbling down for me. I convinced myself to have faith in that verse. I prayed and told God it was now up to Him to make me believe and so He did. I really cant explain it but if Jesus came back tomorrow I know I would be gone with him. I now think of eternity in a totally different light. I deserve some good eternity! I look forward to it! I have always found a reason to be happy despite my circumstances and now I am even happier. This life is nothing compared to eternity in heaven. I am not sure what it really will hold but I bet I get that big house on the beach....
My biggest fear and worry right now is that I dont want to go to heaven without my kids and my husband and my grand kids. I must learn and develop into a good role model. My kids are very hard headed like me. But seeing good things happen in my life and hearing my stories of faith and knowledge that it all comes from God will have its effect. I fear life on earth after Jesus comes back and takes the believers with him. But I have faith that he will give me the words and the reasoning to deal with my kids. And my family and friends. God answers all prayers. He can't not answer my prayer that my family and friends be in heaven with me.
God please give me the right words to move those who listen to me in the right direction.
Jeremiah 29:11 (The Message)
I'll show up and take care of you as I promised
and bring you back home.
I know what I'm doing.
I have it all planned out -
plans to take care of you,
not abandon you,
plans to give you the future you hope for.
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